To Scream or Flex (Ooh Ooh Ooh)
New adventures, sounds and special remix by Mama Dej
I wasn’t always flexible like some of the other kids in my dance classes. I had to train to become limber, to have a fierce arch, to find fluidity. I’m learning to do that all over again in motherhood. To go with the flow in each moment or keep riding along whenever I hit unexpected bumps in the road. Being a student in many ways while simultaneously being someone’s teacher is a dual role that I’ve grown to be quite familiar with in my lifetime. Every morning I wake up not knowing what the day will bring. Sage is hitting all these new developmental milestones so I have to buckle my seatbelt and stay alert as we drive rapidly forward through time. What a difference a week makes…for my son, for my marriage, for the grass, flowers and trees near my new house. I was away visiting family for just seven days and felt an immense shift in my soul and my perspective on the world around me. This has been a season of exponential growth, focus and understanding and I’m leaning all the way in. A season of Flex but make it Mommy-style:
Walked in, thirty ounces in my boobies
Had that baby just like, "Ooh, ooh, ooh"
50,000 tasks in my kitchen, bedroom, nursery
Got em screamin' like, "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh"
Cause I got a sec, Mama wanna flex
But I ain't gotta flex, boy I got it, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Planning for what’s next , she go down the list you see nothing but checks
And now she screamin' like "Ooh, ooh, ooh"
Channeling my Rich Homie Quan vibes as I recount the remainder of my visit to the A. It was quite eventful, some good and some mid though I’m counting it all fruitful. I started spotting a bit on Thursday. A bit of a pink-tinged mucus oozed out of me onto the toilet tissue and I feared my cycle was returning. It’s been well over a year since I had an encounter with “Aunt Flo” and I really am not ready to see her again yet. The light drops sporadically continued through Friday afternoon but disappeared as I started to get ready for my sister’s party. I put baby boy down for a nap around 3:45 and it was time for Mama to dive into glam mode. I cleaned up my brother’s room where we were staying, prepped Sage’s bottle and jumped in the shower by 4 pm. Sage woke up just as I finished getting dressed and doing my makeup so I let him roll around and coo a little so I could wrap up. (Gotta watch him closely though these days as he LOVES to roll, twist, turn, prop up and push off now that he’s diving into a deep discovery of how to move his body). I packed up my parent bag while my StepDad put him in his stroller and took him for a little walk outside. Had us ready to head out the door by 5:40 and we hopped in the car to head to my family friend’s house who so graciously offered to watch the little guy while her daughter (who also has a sweet baby boy) and I had our Mamas’ night out. YES, this Gigi is a well-seasoned superhero and took on taking care of not just one but TWO BABIES through the night. Whew, God bless her!
The car ride over to their house was a rather rocky one. Sage was pretty fussy and screamed for about 15 minutes before I couldn’t take it anymore and pulled over to a CVS to give him his bottle. He didn’t want to eat before we left but decided he was very hungry on the drive over. Once we got to my friend’s house, I lugged our bags inside and quickly prepped Sage for bed. Now this was earlier than his usual bedtime but should’ve fell right in the pocket for a nice nap, which I planned strategically so I could sneak out and head over to the lounge/restaurant once he was asleep. Well, THAT plan tanked. He simply would not go to sleep. After finishing a pretty hefty feed he caught a case of the giggles and did the hokey pokey all around the bassinet while I desperately tried to get him to close his eyes and drift off to dreamland. After an hour of playfulness on his part, the tears started to well up in my eyes and I fell to my knees praying to God that he would finally fall asleep. It took me a whole hour and 15 minutes to get him to rest and inevitably I was running super late to the venue. I was supposed to help my Mom set up but thankfully some of my family arrived early and took care of the final touches. The celebration was supposed to start at 8 and doing my best to drive safely, I didn’t arrive until about 8:30 pm. I was super grateful that I made it there before my sister arrived (my Mom kept stalling for me) so I could see the joy in her eyes as she stepped into the space. I ate, I drank a few adult beverages (even took a birthday shot of tequila), mingled with family and friends and danced the night away. Before I knew it, the clock struck 12 and we were all saying our goodbyes and heading out the door. I dropped one of my girlfriends off on the drive back to my friends where I excitedly reunited with my baby. He looked so adorable, comfortably enjoying a sleepover at his new baby friend’s house. We basked in the joy of time with family and friends through the rest of the weekend and left to head back home Sunday. My Mom didn’t want us to leave and has called and text me a gazillion times since we got back (mainly to see the baby of course). On the return adventure, there were tiny minutes of fussiness, he drank some milk, played on my lap then took a 30 min nap. H really enjoyed looking out the window as we took off and landed and the pilot gave him his Delta wings once we touched down. I lost two bottle chips, one on the tram and the other on the plane but those were very minor casualties. We made it back safely and that’s what mattered most.
Flash forward back here at my house, I’m pretty sure my skin is currently somewhere under my son’s fingernails as he just gave me a good claw to the face during our crib-ring wrestling match. He’s now sound asleep after fighting his midafternoon nap for about 30 mins. That’s just how it goes sometimes around here. One nap it’s easy, smooth, no fussing or fighting and the next it’s lava-like pressure in a volcanic eruption. Speaking of eruptions, I think my kid just discovered how to scream to the top of his lungs today. Not necessarily accompanied by tears or frustration even. In fact he did it this morning at the library during our Mommy + Me lapsit class several times. Let out loud piercing screeches just for the thrill of it and I must admit I was a little embarrassed but I decided to just go with it. I looked at him confidently, “this is what we’re doing today buddy? Alright, woo hoo!” I exclaimed. When he tested it out again when we got home, I screamed out loud with him. But as he continued to test out that same sound later in the day when he became frustrated with his toys during playtime I decided not to react in the same way. Instead, I picked him up, hugged him, blew a little air on his little cute face and encouraged him to take a deep breath until he began to calm down. Now I don’t know if this new screaming thing is some type of phase around this stage or if it’s unique to my child but I’m embracing supple responses and practicing my own style of parenting as new attributes and elements are revealed to me.
Tonight on this episode of Getting Izy With It (our 2018 wedding hashtag), we embark on the journey of sleep training. We’ve officially watched all of our TCB videos and we’re ready to put our new knowledge into action. Pray for us, wish us luck and please send all the positive sleep vibes our way.
