The Gift of Ease
When love, rest, and gratitude arrive right on time
Yesterday’s no-nap day ended up working in our favor. I still found myself checking the monitor from time to time this morning, just to see him shift or move. About a year ago, I would have rushed into his room to check his breathing or driven straight to the ER after a night like the one we had when he was inconsolable. I guess this is what growth in parenthood looks like. A gentle confidence. A steadier nervous system. He slept for over 13 hours, and Jimmy and I got to sleep in, share some tender time together, and even take a shower without rushing. We started another classic movie and made it through almost half before drifting off again. It honestly felt like one of our Christmas gifts.
I am not sure I can fully put today into words, but I felt a steady, indescribable joy moving through me all day long. From watching Sage light up as he explored his new gifts, to dancing, singing, and laughing together both inside and outside (cause the weather was quite nice for the Northeast in December today), to later spending time with my husband and his family. Jimmy and I soaked in the hot tub at his parents’ house and took turns in their massage chair, which is absolute bliss. They bought it as a gift to themselves, but it truly feels like a gift to all of us. We shared a delicious meal of leftover Italian food from yesterday, rich and comforting in the best way. On the drive home, Chicka Chicka 1 2 3 played of course. Sage stayed glued to his guitar and his new number activities all day into the night, fully immersed and joyful. I am tired tonight, but in that deeply satisfied, soul-filled kind of way.
When I look back at where I was mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually a year ago, I cannot help but feel incredibly proud and grateful for where I am now. My body feels stronger and more at ease. My mind feels calmer and less crowded. My emotions feel regulated, lifted, and serene. And I feel closer in my relationship and walk with God than I have in a very long time.
We ended the evening with a sweet FaceTime call with family before heading to bed. Even without a nap today, Sage stayed in such a happy, energized mood. He asked for me read and then tell him a few stories while I cradled him in my arms,loosely inspired by Chicka Chicka of course. After a flurry of kisses and I love yous, I let him lay down in the dark with his sound machine humming softly, easing himself into sleep. Earlier today, I was also surprised with the most thoughtful gifts from my husband. He is not usually known for being the best gift giver, which made it all the more meaningful. Orchestra show tickets, a candle, and a beautiful perfume. Each one felt intentional, personal, and so appreciated. It made me feel deeply seen and loved. Now I am wrapping up my night the same way we wrapped gifts for today, slowly, intentionally, savoring each layer. I feel peaceful, full, and ready to rest, holding onto the sweet joy of everything that has been unwrapped in my heart. Tonight, I have all Moms on my heart. We carry so much through this holiday season. I am praying that each of us receives the gift of real rest and gentle restoration as we move through it all. And to all the hearts holding more than they show this season, may you feel seen, supported, and deeply at peace.