Just As We Are
Motherhood in motion, meltdowns avoided, and love in the quiet moments.
Letting people into my daily stream of consciousness can be fun, but there are so many things that never make it out into the world. Things that aren’t seen or heard, only felt by the heart. Some days I catch myself feeling like a lazy Mom, even though I know that isn’t true. We do activity after activity all day long. They just don’t last very long. A few minutes here, a few minutes there, moments for me to take a seat or lay on the couch for a millisecond. I simply don’t have the same amount of steam in my engine as my two-year-old does. But he keeps me moving much more than I ever did. Truthfully. And that’s saying a lot because I’ve been a performer since the age of 3.
Getting out of the house can feel like a full production, especially when Sage has his own agenda he wants to complete first. Today, we sort of made it happen in a decent timeframe. We took a trip to the library, one of his favorite places. The one closest to us was closed, so we explored a new one instead. He had the best time. We stayed for about an hour reading books, wandering the aisles, and picking out new favorites. And we left without a meltdown, which honestly feels like a major win.
On the drive home, we needed some quiet time. Snacks were involved. A little decompression for both of us. Things were getting fussy, but we made it through that car ride together. Nap time has been a little tougher lately. Getting him down has required more patience than usual, but it’s teaching me so much. About love, compassion, understanding, and helping him learn how to calm himself and find rest. I’m learning right alongside him.
Jimmy came home later and I was able to step out and run an errand. We decided to order in for dinner, so I picked it up on my way back. I had a really nice conversation with my sister on the phone and then spent the rest of the night doing what I love most. Being home with my little family. We decided Sage would go to bed “on time” tonight, whatever that actually means. Earlier than usual, at least. We timed his dinner with ours, gathered our bedtime books from downstairs, and headed up for bath time. So far, things were going smoothly. I wasn’t holding my breath, but I was hopeful.
By the time I walked out of Sage’s room, my ponytail was sideways, the other side of my hair frizzed out in every direction. I looked like a wild cockatoo. But we had a blast. Hanging out in the dark before bedtime. Me. Dad. OG. Sage. Our little, cozy family, just as we are.
And honestly, that feels like more than enough.